What you'll learn in this article:

  • Why your voice is so critical for making a good impression on a girl.
  • 3 Exercises you can do with friends or at the boot camp with us 
  • The magical trick of the Cocktail Party Effect (read more below).


How to project your voice in a loud, and commanding way. Many people who have an issue with speaking loudly, tend to speak for their ‘mouth’ instead of their chest. Make sure to try the 3 exercises today. 

Your commanding voice expresses your confidence.

Some guys are naturally born loud. Others have an issue with being able to express themselves in a loud way. This is a problem because if you meet someone and you speak to them quietly, they may interpret that as you not being confident. How can you express yourself in a strong, loud, confident manner?

In this article you’ll learn the theory and some of my favorite exercises. Also this is usually extremely useful when approaching girls.

The people who are speaking quietly are only speaking from their mouths. If you’re speaking and you’re trying to project your voice, the sound should come from your chest. Do an exercise now and speak, and put your hand over your chest, and see where you’re projecting your voice from. 

Where does the sound come from? Is the sound coming from your mouth, or can you feel it in your chest, almost like a roar?

You want to sound like you’re roaring at someone. Don’t confuse this with shouting, because if you’re shouting at someone, it’s completely wrong. You want to speak in a way where you can feel the vibration in your chest.

Three do-it-yourself exercises to train your voice.

I came up with three exercises really help with this. Try them for yourself (if you dare). Most people on our bootcamps are enjoying these the most, especially when they get coaching. 

Commanding Voice Exercise #1: The Wild Tiger.

This is how it goes: you stand on the corner of a busy street, and you face the other side of the busy street diagonally.

You face the opposite corner and you look up at the tallest building, and you shout for six seconds, as loud as you can. What will tend to happen is that some people might look at you, or if you’re in a very busy city like New York or London, people might not even flinch, they might be so used to this kind of thing. You’ll realize that no one actually cares how loud you are.

Commanding Voice Exercise #2: He’s GONNA JUMP!

Ready for more?

Your next mission is is to go off to the center of the city, to one of the busiest streets where people are waiting for the bus or waiting in line for something.

Stand by them and look up at a building again and yell,

“Oh shit, he’s going to jump!”

Everyone will likely just turn around, and then laugh. Don’t worry, people will seriously laugh about it.


Commanding Voice Exercise #3: The Harsh Break-Up

The most funny mission you can take yourself on involves a wingman. Also read my article on how to find a good wingman here. 

What you have to do is to place yourself on one side of  the street and place your friend on the other side of the street.

Again, this has to be a big busy street where there’s a lot of traffic and cars are passing.

Then, without shouting, have a conversation, a full conversation from one side of the street to the other. Don’t lean in,  just stand straight, breathe in, fill up your chest with air, and then try to project your voice almost as if you’re throwing it at your friend. You want to be able to pierce through all the noise.

Think about when you’re going into a busy nightclub. When you’re going into a busy nightclub, there’s a lot of stuff going on and a lot of distractions: loud people talking, loud music, etc. There’s no way you’re going to be able to get a girl’s attention by speaking quietly. 

You need to be able to literally pierce through all the sounds that are distracting her.

No write down these steps and make sure to try them with a friend.

If you feel you need more help, make sure to check out my tips overcoming your approach anxiety. or join us at the bootcamps in the U.S. and Europe. 


The Cocktail Party Effect

Another related point is that is if you’re going to get someone’s attention, especially when you’re talking to a girl, the best way is to repeat their name back to them.

There’s a thing called the cocktail party effect. When you’re at a cocktail party and there’s a lot of noise and everyone’s talking, having their conversations, somehow you’re still able to concentrate on one conversation.

Every time you hear random noises, you don’t even pay attention.  

However, if someone calls out your name, it’s almost like someone snapping their fingers at you: you lose concentration on the conversation and your attention goes to whoever said your name. If you’re talking to a girl and her attention is being distracted by something else, you can use her name to snap her back to your conversation.

Use it 3 to 4 times per conversation.

Don’t make it unnatural, you just want to blend it in so people hear their name suddenly and are stimulated to stay in the conversation.  

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To Recap:
The two things to take away from this article are that if you’re speaking to someone, speak from your chest, not your mouth, and also, if it is a loud venue and you want to keep a person’s focus on you, use their name at least two or three times to make them stay in the conversation.