What you'll learn in this article:

  • Why the ‘One’ myth isn’t real 
  • Why there are many more compatible girls out there for you.
  • The mistake most men make: Why you shouldn’t settle right away.


When you believe you’ve found the ‘one’

When you’re convinced you’ve found the girl of your dreams, quite a lot happens.

  • You don’t listen to reason.
  • You don’t see the signs.
  • You overlook the faults and only focus on the positives.
  • You become less willing to look for someone better.
  • Your love becomes an obsession.

Finding someone who you click well with and connect is amazing. In fact it’s such an extraordinary feeling that we tend to try and cling on to it for dear life. Soon after, this ‘love’ can sometimes become obsession and we are blind to see that there is more out there than we’d like to admit.

#1 – There Are Many Ones

Actually, there’s so many that you’ll probably never meet them all, even if you tried.

In any major city there are several million people. For convenience sake let’s just say 50% are women.

And from those 50% only 20% are your age range and from that you find yourself attracted to a several thousand.

That can be pretty fair to say. But, how many of these several thousand have you actually gone up and talked to?

How many have you dated? How many have you even attempted to build a connection with?


5… – 6….? Really…?


The problem isn’t that you are into this one girl from work or your ex who was your everything.

The problem is that you are lazy.

You aren’t willing to get up and explore the potential of other women who are out there, because your brain likes to stick with comfort, it enjoys safety. That girl you still can’t stop thinking about?

She is safety.

#2: I Love Sushi

I haven’t till today met a person who loves sushi as much as I do. I have a borderline unhealthy obsession with it. I know how to make my own, I try all the best restaurants, I know all the types of combinations of what goes well with what. I even know most of the rules and traditions involved in eating sushi.

Needless to say, when I’m in New York I have a favourite restaurant.

Sometimes when I’m in town, I’ll call to reserve at this restaurant because I really feel like having good sushi and sometimes, they are fully booked.

“But, but.”

“I’m sorry sir, we are fully booked.”

Now, me being me, I won’t take defeat. That doesn’t mean that I won’t be eating sushi that night. What it means is that I will Google like a mad man, check yelp reviews for all the other good sushi restaurants in town and give another one a try.

Sometimes it’s not as good as my favourite.

Sometimes it’s much much better.

The point is, if I were to sit at home and sulk about my favourite sushi place being fully booked, I would never have found and experienced the variety of places that exist in the lovely city of New York.

#3 – Yes, I Also Love Women

Sometimes, I’ve dated a girl that I thought was the best human being that ever walked the planet earth. Sometimes, shortly after our break up, I am convinced that a replacement simply doesn’t exist.

In the 7 something billion people on earth, no one can replace her, she was the best, she was my ‘one’.

When I least expect it, I end up meeting a new girl, spend time with her only to realise that she is far superior to me than the previous. I look back and laugh that I was ever that upset over my ex girlfriend when someone this amazing has just waltzed into my life and made me this happy.

If I didn’t go out and try to socialize and meet more women, I would still be at home sulking over the what ifs and whys of the past, where instead I have moved forward and found something just as wonderful if not even better.

#4 – Why You’re Reading This Far

You my friend are here because you know there’s hope. You know that your obsessing over someone is unhealthy.

You’re here because you want to move forward. You are tired of feeling helpless and you know there is more to life.

There is hope for you. You just need to go out and look for it!

I have a similar article that covers getting over your ex that you should probably check out. It will also give you the action steps that you need to take to move on.

To summarize

  1. There is no one. There are many ones.
  2. No matter how good they are, there is always better around the corner.
  3. Sulking isn’t moving forward, being out and socializing is.

All the best,