What you'll learn in this article: 

  • How to go for a make-out fearless. 
  • Why the make-out is not the end-goal. 
  • 4 reasons why you should keep the first kiss short. 
  • The trick when going for the second kiss, and how to make sure she will kisses you back. 

There’s quite a big build up behind a make out. We are led to believe that the first kiss needs to be “Disney”.

Movies, TV shows, cartoons all lead you to the idea that you have to have the worlds most magical kiss and that will dictate your Romeo Juliet relationship.

NO Mom’s Spaghetti

The more you build it up, the more petrifying it becomes.

Heart races, knees weak, palms sweaty, all making it so much harder for you to actually go for the kiss. You end up looking the girl in the eye, she knows you’re going to do it, you’re not sure when and how, and when you eventually do, after ALL that build up, she moves back.


Why the make out is not the end goal

You have to realise that the kiss isn’t the end goal. Sex is the end goal, the first kiss is just one step closer to that. So instead of putting all this pressure, realise that it’s just a small little step to simply go through while getting to sex.


The 3 Steps To A Make-Out

I’m not a big fan of the above, and I never have been. Tried and tested, when I put myself in a high-pressure situation like going in for the kiss I’ll end up messing it up. We all get nervous, there’s no shame, but why not remove that nervous factor or decrease it significantly?

  • Eye Contact
  • Hands
  • Short & Sweet

#1 – Eye Contact

This is your best friend, you can’t kiss someone without looking at them, there is no sneak attack in this. You have to make strong eye contact (a cheeky smile always helps) so that the girl knows you are a sexual guy and will take action.

#2 – Hands

When possible, always find an excuse to hold her hands. “You have such small hands, let me see”. This will help you pull her in closer for the kiss and also intensifies the eye contact made.

#3 – KISS Principle: Keep It Short And Sweet

I go against what you’ve been brought up to believe.

What you’ve seen on TV, and what your visualisation of the first kiss should be like.


I like to keep the first kiss short and sweet. There’s a few reasons why I do this.

Reasons for the KISS-principle:

  1. It significantly decreases the pressure. I’m no longer building this up into the kiss that will wake up sleeping beauty. Now it’s simply a quick and short, innocent, child like kiss that will last a total of less than a second.
  2. It breaks the sexual tension. The sexual tension is always being built, the sooner you release that tension the sooner you can get on with the next step.
  3. Creates comfort with sexual touch. You’re no longer two buddies hanging out, you’re two people who’ve just kissed, now moving towards sex is just one step closer.
  4. It shows you aren’t A very underrated point, but most guys, are actually quite needy, and so try to make the first kiss last till death do us part. Completely takes out all the mystery of it all and just makes it boring. Don’t be needy, and keep more to be continued.


“This is all great, but what should it look like?”

Random point mid date, make strong eye contact, cheeky smile, hold her hands, pull her in, give her a quick peck on the lips, move back, cheeky smile again.


That’s it.

Like I said, short and simple.


How To Get To The Second Kiss 

This one can last as long as you want it to, the first one was just testing the waters.

Now that you’ve done that, this one can be the real one. This is where you will start leading things towards sex.

Now that doesn’t mean immediately, it means you set the frame here for how the rest of the interaction will go. 

There you have it, I hope you’ll never build up pressure on yourself for the first kiss and it’ll always be as easy as that. 



  • The kiss isn’t the end goal.
  • Hold her hands, eye contact.
  • Keep it short and sweet.


Until next time,

– Sami