You'll learn in this article:
- How to be in a peak state when talking to girls.
- Why you should have horrible approaches to become better.
- The power of seeing life as your party only.
- Why you should never excuse yourself for approaching a girl in a sexual way.
Approach anxiety, (like many anxieties) is an illogical fear of the unknown.
Approach anxiety is what happens when you are about to speak to a person (usually it’s a girl) and you freeze up.
You don’t know why, but you tense up, calculate, you over-think what’s going to
happen in your head, and then you end up not approaching the person.
You think about it too much and you say, you know what;
Maybe she has a boyfriend.
Maybe she’s going to reject me
I actually don’t like her
I’m busy today, I don’t have time
I haven’t shaved etc.
The REAL Reason Why You Dont Approach
The real reason why you don’t want to approach her is because you don’t want to get rejected.
You don’t want to have to suffer the humiliation of getting a no from a girl you find attractive.
Many people see rejection as a big thing where if you get rejected it’s going to be the end of the world, where we all know that isn’t the case, and life in fact does go on.
If for example you hurt yourself once playing basketball, are you never going to play basketball again? That’s the same thing as if you
approach a girl and she rejects you, and you say to yourself that “You’re done with girls.”
Don’t be that guy.
You’re going to get up and you’re going to try again, and you’re going to keep trying, and hopefully you’re going to get to the results that you want to get.
Like all anxieties, being scared of something that you’re not actually sure of, you don’t know for certain what’s going to happen.
A lot of people will have approach anxiety because they’re thinking in their minds about what might happen… In actual fact, a lot of times the girls may be responsive and not be as bitchy as you may fear.
The three rules to break down your approach anxiety and hopefully cure it for good:
The First Person You Meet Is Key
Rule Number 1: always, always, always approach the first person you see at the beginning of your day.
If you wake up at seven in the morning and you’re going to go get a train to work, speak to the
train attendant, speak to the person behind the coffee stand.
Have a little conversation anywhere, whether it’s a cab driver, or a homeless man, or it’s the hottest girl you’ve seen in your life… Just start a conversation with someone who is not in your comfort circle.
Yourcomfort circle is anyone you are acquainted with, or know, or are friends or family with.
You cannot cheat and say, “I’m just going to talk to my friend John”.
Your approaching has to be with a random person. Just go up to them and spark a random conversation.
It sounds selfish, but use the first person of your day as your warm-up and then eventually you’re going to be fine after the first conversation to start the rest of your day.
Fail First, Then Become Even Better
Rule Number 2 to become good at approaching is to always make sure that the first set, the first approach of the day, doesn’t go well. No matter what you have to do, make sure that it doesn’t go well.
Because if you have a preconception that all conversations must be good, you’re going to try to make everything work out for the best so that you can exit in a way where your hands are clean.
That’s why a lot of guys who go up to girls and approach them, when a boyfriend shows up, they’ll spend a half an hour just trying to prove to the boyfriend that they’re not trying to pick up… just because they want to leave with their hands clean. They cannot have a bad track record where they’ve had one bad negative reaction, even though the guy knows exactly why they were there.
Never have that in your mind. You never want to make sure that all conversations end on a high note.
If you try to make every single conversation end on a high note, you are going to be struggling for the rest of your life because
you’re going to have a lot of people who you will just not get along with.
Not all sets are meant for you.
Sometimes you will be in the set, with the most gorgeous girl in the world, but there is zero connection.
Just walk away. You don’t have to sleep with every single girl in the world, it’s impossible.
Life Is YOUR Party
Rule Number 3 is to make sure that no matter what, you walk away having a blast.
You walk away from that set enjoying yourself and thinking that was the funniest thing, or it was the happiest part of your day where you just did that.
The reason is because if you start putting pressure on yourself it’s going to become very difficult for you to enjoy the moment.
If you’re just trying to get ticks for your little book at home saying
“I approached 30 girls,good going!”… if you’re trying to do that, then you’re never going to enjoy yourself.
You want to make sure that it’s always enjoyable for you and if you walk away enjoying yourself, you’re going to be in the
moment and you’re going to realize that it’s really fun.
Practice makes perfect.
If you go out and do a hundred approaches a week, you will be fine within a couple of months, whereas if you sit down and watch videos and then just do one approach per week it’ll take you a few years to improve.
Practice does make perfect. You need to put in the hours. Unfortunately, approach anxiety will NEVER completely go away.
You just learn to either enjoy it or push through the discomfort. Once you’ve gone through 10,000 sets or whatever the number is you want to reach in your mind, you will probably have had every possible reaction you’ll ever get.
You will always get a reaction, either positive, negative or neutral, and you learn to build your own answers to them. You want to be
able to do it so naturally that you don’t even think about it anymore.
Do you want to learn how to make better approaches, and handle the situations better? Then I’ve created a special course:
(click on the button below)
Be Cool, Take Action
The coolest people are actually people who don’t care what people think…
If you know you’re fun, and you don’t care about making a fool of yourself, you will probably be a blast to hang around.
Then you will realize, once you start talking to people, that actually you’re not a person who needs to have approach anxiety.
You’re actually just a great person, and you’re going to be able to approach all the time, whenever you want to do it!
Learn all my tricks and tips at http://www.destroyapproachanxiety.com