What you'll learn in this article:
- The most important mindset for daygame
- The secrets most dating books don't teach you
- Sami's personal cheat-sheet to stay in the zone
With the ever popular rise of daygame in the pickup community, and the over information there is out there, it’s no surprise that many guys end up not really know what to do. They fall into certain mistakes that stop them getting the results they should be getting.
There are 7 major daygame mistakes that I’ve noticed and I’ll go into each of these:
#1 – Guys using daygame as a replacement for night game.
Daygame should be a chance for you to go out and approach women throughout your day (obviously) whether it’s going to work, on the way to the gym, running to the supermarket etc.
With that being said, daygame should be something you ADD to your normal routine, not replace your normal routine with. That means, you should not stop going out at night and to clubs and bars, if you do, you are missing out on a great deal of the hot women who go to these venues in hope that they show up to your newly found comfortable ‘daygame territory’
#2 – Going out without a purpose.
If your out on ‘the hunt’, you are setting yourself up for failure. Your mind is set on one thing, and one thing only. You are no longer doing this for fun, you are doing this for the sake of work. Lots of guys have ‘daygame sessions’ in which they go out for certain amount of hours to ONLY APPROACH. That’s a losing mindset.
You need to have a purpose to your day, a purpose to your outing. For example if you’re going out to send a letter by post, and on the way to the post office, you socialize with the girls you find attractive, suddenly your mind isn’t only focused on approaching.
You have your end goal, but on the way to that goal, you will speak to girls. Don’t make daygame your end goal, find ANYTHING else to make your end goal, and approach on your way to that.
#3 – Memorizing lines.
For those of you who’ve been doing daygame for a while, is it safe to assume that the openers you use now are working less and less as time goes by? When you first started you were getting better reactions, now slowly, even though you are better and more
experienced, you are getting less results.
Well if you’re like me, you spent many years learning an opener, and haven’t bothered changing it. What I realized, is that same opener, has become so automatic in your mind, that you are no longer meaning it.
Have you ever called tech support? Problem with your phone, your laptop, your internet etc. Some guy/girl will always answer saying “Hi, I’m really sorry to hear that you are having trouble with our company, how can I help?”
When you hear that, do you think the person saying it really gives a f*ck about your problem? Do they genuinely want to help? or are they saying it because they get paid to say it.
Well, what happens when you memorize an opener is you start becoming less and less genuine as more time goes by. You become tech support. Don’t be tech support. Girls can sense it, and they hate it.
Instead open with “Hi” or “Excuse me” and have NOTHING planned to say after that. Even if you fumble your words or talk about stupid things, at least it’s real. Stop memorizing stuff and start improvising, especially the longer you’ve been doing daygame.
#4 – Going for quantity interactions,not quality.
1 quality interaction is worth 100 flakey numbers. 100 numbers are worth nothing, if non of the girls remember you.
Start focusing on getting solid, quality interactions with women, rather than focusing on getting as many numbers as possible. This can be better explained in point 5.
#5 – Not getting emotional investment in your sets.
If you are talking to a girl, and she isn’t emotionally invested, chances are she’s going to flake on you. Is it your fault? Is it her fault? Truth be told, it’s neither. She didn’t get the chance to see the value that you have to offer, and in the short space of time you had you didn’t know how to show her the real you.
Whether negative or positive emotional investments, you need to get the girl to feel some sort of change in her current state for her to be excited by you, and for you to be memorable. Always work on the conversation to spike emotions.
#6 – Half assing the approach, not being assertive enough.
Promoters are the best at half ass approaches. They never walk straight at you, they come from an angle, and hand a flyer to their side without any eye contact, hoping that you accept it. Don’t be a half ass promoter.
Daytime is where alot of promoters will be out and about handing stuff out, daygame happens to fall in that category if it’s not done correctly.
If you aren’t assertive enough, if you don’t show that you are not selling anything, the girl will probably mistake you for a promoter and just walk past you. Do you remember any promoters? No? Well she won’t remember you either if you act like one.
#7 – Focusing on numbers instead of dates.
This I will never understand. Why do guys focus on getting a number and only that? If you are out in a city, a town, a farm, you should always see what the girl is up to then and there. If she’s free (and you are as well) great!
Why exchange numbers when you can go out on an instant date? Coffee? Walk in the park? Explore the city? There’s really no limit to what you can do. If you can’t have an instant date, what is she up to tonight?
Set up a date, not a “let me get your number and spend 6 days messaging you back and forth till I feel we have connection enough to maybe, potentially, hopefully go out or something”.
The number is to find each other on that date. When you get her number she should know full well your intentions and that you plan on hanging out soon.
Those are the 7 major daygame mistakes, I did a little talk about it in Krakow, Poland.